The fact of the matter is that wedding guests cost money, and venues hold a specific head count. When taking into account the issue of money-space and input from parents, engagements explode. Couples should tread lightly because the field has now become strewn with landmines. Making that call to the long-forgotten neighborhood friend may become a throw-down battle over who makes the guest list cut. Instead, be realistic by evaluating and negotiating and, ultimately making a compromise.
Two Lists Are Better Than One
A fantasy guest list is necessary and it shouldn’t be censored. It should include every single person you would ever want to invite to your wedding. Once you have made this list, jet back to reality. Your realistic list will target how many guests your venue can hold, therefore your real list must contain this number. Think about your favorite people, who you enjoy spending your time with, and others who you would enjoy attending your special day. Your list should contain at least ten percent more guests that the target number of your venue. This is because between ten and twenty percent will either decline or not show up.
Who Are Friends of the Parents?
Why are all these extra people invited to the wedding? It is tradition for the parents of the bride to pay for the wedding, therefore they should have the upper hand with invitations. In today’s generation, though, the majority of couples are footing the bills for their weddings. However, parents are still providing much input regarding guest lists. Respect should be given to your parents and your future in-laws because they are experiencing just as much excitement as you. One option to consider if you are footing the majority of the bill is to provide a specific number of guests to each parent to keep things fair.
Deciding which co-worker to invite and which doesn’t make the cut is undoubtedly going to be discussed around the water cooler. If you work in a larger office, the task is simpler. However, if you work with a smaller group you can’t leave anyone out. The simplest way to decide who to invite is, if you socialize outside of work and use the co-worker’s phone number, they should be on your guest list.
Are You Kidding?
Some people love having kids at their weddings, while others dread the idea. The decision is yours. The guidelines for an adults-only receptions will need to be established by inviting children over a certain age or by not including children under the age of eighteen on the list. For those who give you a difficult time about this decision, explain to them that an exception can’t be made because it would be unfair to guests you have already said no to about bringing children.
Even though you’ve made all kinds of cuts, your list is still too long. The guilt is all consuming, your fiancé needs help deleting names, and you both feel terrible. It’s time to really focus on the names on the list that are really relevant in your life at the moment. Then ask yourself, “Will they still be relevant in five years?” If the answer is no, they could probably be deleted from the list, or moved to the bottom.